I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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