I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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