we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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