just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
