i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
