even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
