I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
