I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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