Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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