Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
bring money and cleavage
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
