I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
