My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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