Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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