1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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