i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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