You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
