Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
