i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
