what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
