Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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