I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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