I just made out with a guy for $7.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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