I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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