I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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