Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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