names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
