Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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