I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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