The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
