dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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