does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
