Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
