people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
