why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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