watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize