google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
