So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
