One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
