Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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