I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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