omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
