I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
