I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize