everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
