dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just want nice things and good sex
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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