well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
