i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
