is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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