Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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