More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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