What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
