can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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