No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
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God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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