I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
