I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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