Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
