i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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