somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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