we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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