I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
this just has baby written all over it
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
