My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
