No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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