i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
